Scene 1 - Police commisioner's office
Mumbai Police constable to commisioner: Sir... Sir...
Commisioner(Yawning): What is it khote?
Constable: Sir, RAW chief on fone, Sir.
Commissioner: Tell him we already know Mumbai will be attacked... some time in future(chuckles).
Constable told RAW chief but now looks at commisioner with wide eyes
Constable : No, Sir... he says Mumbai is under attack now.
Commisioner(frustrated): O no! not again! why Mumbai? The whole of India is left open for them to attack. Why they have to come under my ass, and blast it off. Had to pay so much for this posting u know khote? ok how many bombs this time. If its 5 then I can still save my already red ass.
Scene 2 - PMO
PM secretary :Sir, Sir...
PM: Yes Yadavji, what is it?
Secretary: Sir terriorists in Mumbai...
PM (while chewing a mouthful) : ok, how many bombs this time? Do we have my sympathy speech ready? and ya, do not forget to include some Pakistan bashing and also about how resillient India is and the history that we have been attacked so often and still going strong. And somewhere fit in that because of congress we grew at 9 percent.
PM (to himself): if these guys keep on striking so often, I will run out of my cliches!
Scene 3, 10 Janapth -
PM to Sonia Gandhi: Hello Madam, may i have a few minutes from your schedule? Its a matter of grave consequences for India.
Madam: Wait I am watching Kyunki Saas bhi Bahu thi. Call be in 10 minutes.
PM: Yes madam!
PM (after 10 minutes) : Madam, Mumbai has been attacked again, Madam.
Madam: O no! Again the lalus and paswans will start shouting; again give them some ministries. PM ji, I tell you we need to ask one of these terriorists to bomb them.. (laughs). Anyway we have a few crores left don't we? Give 1 crore each to the deceased and yeah the distribution committee should be headed by my cousin-in-law's son.
Scene 4 - The coalition
Sonia to lalu: Namashkar laluji, I am sure you came to know about the Mumbai mishap.
lalu: Yes, Yes........ We know all.... nothing will happen, India is great! Right Madam?
Sonia: Yes ofcourse, you are its brightest son, it definitely has to be greatest. But Laluji, I was hoping that may be we should show some solidarity this time and not start government bashing from the onset. Its election year you know and elections in Bihar are so far off. Its best not to hurt each other.
Lalu (thinking...): Hmmm, Soniaji, I would say we should say drop our home minister.... As you know somebody has to go... and how about making me the next home minister in the next term? You are right, lets support each other, for now all I want is a different perspective for CBI which doesn't include me.
Scene 5, The opposition -
Advani: This is a bumper year for us. Until last year I was running out of the issues I could raise against the government. Christian bashing hardly got any response. So many blasts in such short time - terriorism is my golden goose. May be just for the want of change people will vote us.
Vajpayee: But what is happening.....
Vajpayee: .....is not happening good. What are you going to answer.......
Vajpayee: .......... to this nation. you don't even know how to stop these attacks
Advani: Interesting point. We can just blame the government and see to it we do it long and loud enough. May be break a mosque here and there and finally stage some riots. Then field a strong muslim cabinet - THE CHANGE WE NEED.
Scene 6 Press room-
Press room journalist to editor: Sir another terriorist attack, bigger than before. Its our own 9/11.
Editor: Wow.. I love journalism. The day we run out of ghosts stories to tell a big news happens!!
I hope you have those sob stories ready? I really like that mom crying for her son. Get that on air immediately and in the mean time get someone to cover the incident. Especially ask some survivors how are they feeling!!! Ya, give me a name for this.
Journalist: Name... how about 'atank ke pujari ne mumbai ki mari'?
Clerk: Sir Sir, how about 'terror ka raaj in oberoi and taj'!!
Peon: Sir I got one, Press bani trash!
Scene 7, Home -
Husband watching TV: good another attack happened. Now for a few days we can feel safe again... I am not taking my car tomorrow Rekha... we will travel by trains.
Rekha: Yes Yes and also do some shopping for festivals tomorrow, who knows when the next bomb goes off and we get such a chance.
Husband on call (assuring): Yes mummyji, we are ok. You can rest assured.
Mummy: Ah thank god, the children are safe. Lets sleep now!
Scene 8, After a few months -
RAW: Another attack expected on delhi... be alert... listen to us!!! When and how still being worked out...
Police constable khote: Sir, I can't find mumbai attack file. Pakistan is asking fot it.
Commisioner: O thats ok, give them that of the last time...
Politicians: Flood, hindu-muslim, reservations, nuclear deal......
Common man: Leave it yaar, This is India, noone listens. Why should we bother?
IT professional: Sign a petition online, light a candle online, hold hands online.... hey mumbai attack anniversary coming up, its a long weekend, what say?
Front page news: Bomb blasts rip Delhi.....
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
ज़िन्दगी की दौड़
ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में
आगे बढने की होड़ में
क्या कुछ पीछे छोड़ आए हैं
रिश्ते नाते तोड़ आए हैं
जब हम छोटे बच्चे थे
सपने देखा करते थे
अपने पैरों पर दौडेंगे
सारी पाबंदियां तोडेंगे
आज जब वो दिन आया है
ख़ुद को अकेला ही पाया है
चवन्नी में मिलने वाली खुशी
डॉलर से भी न खरीदी जा सकी
हरे पेडों पर पतझड़ है
हमारी झोली भी अध्-भर है
फ़िर भी खुश होने में संकोच है
आज लगता नाकाफी हर कोष है
अपने मन के पास पहुंचे
एक मन सोना हाथों में भींचे
आंखों में आँसू थे और मुख पर अपमान
चंद सिक्कों के लिए क्या हो गया इंसान
आदर से मुझे बिठाया
और पूछा की मैं क्यूँ आया
मेरे पल मुझे लौटा दो
मेरी खुशियाँ मुझे लौटा दो
विनती की हाथ जोड़कर
मन को मन-भर सोना अर्पण कर
अन्दर ही अन्दर सिमट गया मैं
मन पसीज कर रह गया मैं
मन की गोद में सुंदर पंछी
सोने पर आ कर जो बैठी
उड़ गई मैले कुसुम बिखराके
मुझको बस यही सिखाके
समय अटल है,
धन बस छल है
जो खुशी बेची धनार्जन में
सो क़र्ज़ चुकाना है जीवन में
ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में
आगे बढने की होड़ में
जो खुशी बेची धनार्जन में
सो क़र्ज़ चुकाना है जीवन में
आगे बढने की होड़ में
क्या कुछ पीछे छोड़ आए हैं
रिश्ते नाते तोड़ आए हैं
जब हम छोटे बच्चे थे
सपने देखा करते थे
अपने पैरों पर दौडेंगे
सारी पाबंदियां तोडेंगे
आज जब वो दिन आया है
ख़ुद को अकेला ही पाया है
चवन्नी में मिलने वाली खुशी
डॉलर से भी न खरीदी जा सकी
हरे पेडों पर पतझड़ है
हमारी झोली भी अध्-भर है
फ़िर भी खुश होने में संकोच है
आज लगता नाकाफी हर कोष है
अपने मन के पास पहुंचे
एक मन सोना हाथों में भींचे
आंखों में आँसू थे और मुख पर अपमान
चंद सिक्कों के लिए क्या हो गया इंसान
आदर से मुझे बिठाया
और पूछा की मैं क्यूँ आया
मेरे पल मुझे लौटा दो
मेरी खुशियाँ मुझे लौटा दो
विनती की हाथ जोड़कर
मन को मन-भर सोना अर्पण कर
अन्दर ही अन्दर सिमट गया मैं
मन पसीज कर रह गया मैं
मन की गोद में सुंदर पंछी
सोने पर आ कर जो बैठी
उड़ गई मैले कुसुम बिखराके
मुझको बस यही सिखाके
समय अटल है,
धन बस छल है
जो खुशी बेची धनार्जन में
सो क़र्ज़ चुकाना है जीवन में
ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में
आगे बढने की होड़ में
जो खुशी बेची धनार्जन में
सो क़र्ज़ चुकाना है जीवन में
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Financial Imperialism
Dadaji: Children, today let me tell you about European Imperialism of medieval age. After the renaissance and the industrial revolution, European companies started to run out of markets to sell their products, thus impeding their growth. The greed of these companies and land hungry rulers of European countries undertook several missions across the seas to find new lands. The bigger, stronger and faster ships, now possible, could make this search easier.
IT Symposium in Bangalore, the key note speaker: Ladies and Gentlemen, let me recount the history of IT revolution in India. After the advent of information age and Internet revolution, developed countries realized a new cheaper way to get their work done. With faster and cheaper Internet and telephone, they identified a lot of countries which would be willing to do their work at a quarter of the cost. India was their favorite destination with a large pool of under-employed engineers and good knowledge of English.
Dadaji: They landed in India as traders. Some kings were very receptive of these traders and forged alliances with them for higher profits. The native crops which would sell for a trifle in their country would fetch huge purses in Europe. Europeans too liked the idea since they found a source of cheap crops which sold for the same high price in Europe.
Speaker: Entrepreneurs spotting the opportunities grabbed projects from their foreign patrons. The same work which would fetch pennies in India would sell for a fortune in their country owing to the high exchange rates of dollars. Foreigners also liked the idea of cheap labor costs for the same high cost of their services in their country.
Dadaji: Everyone was happy. Kings held banquets in honor of the European traders and heaped praise on how they transformed the economy of the region. How the farmers were getting higher prices and how prosperity was flocking to their kingdoms. The European traders noticed how respectfully the Indians treated them and had started emulating their ways. They thought, about promoting their culture in these lands and as a result sell their goods in these new markets.
Speaker: The new IT revolution brought prosperity to the beneficiaries. They created hundreds of white collar jobs with salaries and increments unheard. Observing the fascination of the populace with foreign goods, soon other foreign brands started making a beeline for these new prosperous lands as new markets for their goods, creating newer jobs. The developing middle class and their rising disposable incomes made the perfect targets for luxury line of products. The cascading effect made everything in the budding centers look like those of the patrons - the skyline, the roads, the road signs, cars, restaurants, hotels, etc.
Dadaji: The prominent traders and kings started wooing these foreign traders for more business. Suddenly they were in demand. The competition for the slice of the pie and habit of serving the kings turned respect of locals into servitude. Europeans traded in humans where they could not find anything else to trade. Some colonies sent natives to work in European countries as slaves.
Speaker: This led to emergence of local leaders in IT. They would compete with each other and try everything to please their patrons. This also gave the countrymen a chance of most coveted foreign travel and client interaction. It was their duty to keep the client happy and with increasing turnover of IT industry it seems they have done well. The present mantra has become 'Client devo bhava'. These bhaktas of god, would have offered good services. The clients are so impressed with the Indian software engineers that they invite them to work for them in their teams.
Dadaji: Soon the traders turned into conquerors to further cut the middlemen, and to boost the profits. Indians who were used to the changing thrones, accepted them as their leaders but they could never accept Indians as one of them. They kept fleecing them until they realized there was no blood left.
Speaker: In spite of the great IT revolution, and rise of local genius, the quality of work exported by foreign companies has remained stagnant. Its a constant complain of Indian IT industry professionals that the plum architectural work has evaded the offshore while the mundane maintenance work has increased. Another challenge to Indian IT industry is the rise of other cost centers around the world which offer a competitive cost advantage. It is feared in a few years, the foreign patrons would look for greener pastures.
Dadaji: The European atrocities kept rising . Economic, social and personal injuries kept increasing. There was gloom over India's sovereignty.
Speaker: This is the eagle's eye view of Indian IT industry for you ladies and gentlemen. I would like to take questions, if any.
Dadaji's children: Dadaji, then how come we gained independence from British?
Dadaji: India then produced a string of great and brave leaders and their extraordinarily great followers. They led India to freedom my child.
Question: Mr. Speaker, What you have said implies a kind of subjugation Indian talent has been subjected to. We have been robbed of our creative acumen and are being forced to follow orders. Until 1947, we were kept under their rule by force and after 1997, we are captive by money. We have surrendered our freedom for a bucket of cash. Aren't we living under a civilized imperialism? What would you say about that?
Speaker: You are being a poet my friend as everyone knows the two periods cannot be compared but yes I will have to agree with you about the similarities. And I would like to continue your grim story to the glorious end the political imperialism met. The great leaders are rising. They have the original thought, who hate their creativity being submit to someone else. We stand at genesis of a new generation. To finish with your analogy my friend, we are at the brink of another revolution.
IT Symposium in Bangalore, the key note speaker: Ladies and Gentlemen, let me recount the history of IT revolution in India. After the advent of information age and Internet revolution, developed countries realized a new cheaper way to get their work done. With faster and cheaper Internet and telephone, they identified a lot of countries which would be willing to do their work at a quarter of the cost. India was their favorite destination with a large pool of under-employed engineers and good knowledge of English.
Dadaji: They landed in India as traders. Some kings were very receptive of these traders and forged alliances with them for higher profits. The native crops which would sell for a trifle in their country would fetch huge purses in Europe. Europeans too liked the idea since they found a source of cheap crops which sold for the same high price in Europe.
Speaker: Entrepreneurs spotting the opportunities grabbed projects from their foreign patrons. The same work which would fetch pennies in India would sell for a fortune in their country owing to the high exchange rates of dollars. Foreigners also liked the idea of cheap labor costs for the same high cost of their services in their country.
Dadaji: Everyone was happy. Kings held banquets in honor of the European traders and heaped praise on how they transformed the economy of the region. How the farmers were getting higher prices and how prosperity was flocking to their kingdoms. The European traders noticed how respectfully the Indians treated them and had started emulating their ways. They thought, about promoting their culture in these lands and as a result sell their goods in these new markets.
Speaker: The new IT revolution brought prosperity to the beneficiaries. They created hundreds of white collar jobs with salaries and increments unheard. Observing the fascination of the populace with foreign goods, soon other foreign brands started making a beeline for these new prosperous lands as new markets for their goods, creating newer jobs. The developing middle class and their rising disposable incomes made the perfect targets for luxury line of products. The cascading effect made everything in the budding centers look like those of the patrons - the skyline, the roads, the road signs, cars, restaurants, hotels, etc.
Dadaji: The prominent traders and kings started wooing these foreign traders for more business. Suddenly they were in demand. The competition for the slice of the pie and habit of serving the kings turned respect of locals into servitude. Europeans traded in humans where they could not find anything else to trade. Some colonies sent natives to work in European countries as slaves.
Speaker: This led to emergence of local leaders in IT. They would compete with each other and try everything to please their patrons. This also gave the countrymen a chance of most coveted foreign travel and client interaction. It was their duty to keep the client happy and with increasing turnover of IT industry it seems they have done well. The present mantra has become 'Client devo bhava'. These bhaktas of god, would have offered good services. The clients are so impressed with the Indian software engineers that they invite them to work for them in their teams.
Dadaji: Soon the traders turned into conquerors to further cut the middlemen, and to boost the profits. Indians who were used to the changing thrones, accepted them as their leaders but they could never accept Indians as one of them. They kept fleecing them until they realized there was no blood left.
Speaker: In spite of the great IT revolution, and rise of local genius, the quality of work exported by foreign companies has remained stagnant. Its a constant complain of Indian IT industry professionals that the plum architectural work has evaded the offshore while the mundane maintenance work has increased. Another challenge to Indian IT industry is the rise of other cost centers around the world which offer a competitive cost advantage. It is feared in a few years, the foreign patrons would look for greener pastures.
Dadaji: The European atrocities kept rising . Economic, social and personal injuries kept increasing. There was gloom over India's sovereignty.
Speaker: This is the eagle's eye view of Indian IT industry for you ladies and gentlemen. I would like to take questions, if any.
Dadaji's children: Dadaji, then how come we gained independence from British?
Dadaji: India then produced a string of great and brave leaders and their extraordinarily great followers. They led India to freedom my child.
Question: Mr. Speaker, What you have said implies a kind of subjugation Indian talent has been subjected to. We have been robbed of our creative acumen and are being forced to follow orders. Until 1947, we were kept under their rule by force and after 1997, we are captive by money. We have surrendered our freedom for a bucket of cash. Aren't we living under a civilized imperialism? What would you say about that?
Speaker: You are being a poet my friend as everyone knows the two periods cannot be compared but yes I will have to agree with you about the similarities. And I would like to continue your grim story to the glorious end the political imperialism met. The great leaders are rising. They have the original thought, who hate their creativity being submit to someone else. We stand at genesis of a new generation. To finish with your analogy my friend, we are at the brink of another revolution.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Falling markets
There was a time not too long ago
Subprime-crisis, it was called with much ado
The fairy tales were coming to an end
Markets all over were reversing their trend
The money was going down the drain
governments were calling calm in vain
out of the blues a thought struck me simply
I was reminded of humpty-dumpty
Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall
markets entice, when up they crawl
Humty-Dumpty had a great fall
Bears creep in silently for a prowl
All the king's horses, all the king's men
Government wakes up to economy in strain
could not put Humpty-Dumpty together again
Bail out is too small to relieve the pain
How come the pets of the wall street,
In days, were brought to their feet
Fed came running to save the phony
and I was reminded of Johny-Johny
Johny Johny, Yes papa (the Fed)
For the helping hand, all banks sped
Eating sugar? No Papa (Asked the Mogul)
Greedy they were instead of frugal
Telling Lies? No papa (Said fed with stern looks)
They lied and cooked their books
Open your mouth, Ha Ha Ha (O! its fine)
Said fed, relax, happens all the time
History is repeated, as they say
While sun shone, they made hay
Collapsed under their own weight
Help approached but too late
People lost their savings indeed
But only to their insatiable greed
Common man is facing trying times
Finding solace in these nursery rhymes
How centuries of wisdom is ignored
when, to money man is lured
Heed to Buffet's words in need
Be very scared of other's greed
Subprime-crisis, it was called with much ado
The fairy tales were coming to an end
Markets all over were reversing their trend
The money was going down the drain
governments were calling calm in vain
out of the blues a thought struck me simply
I was reminded of humpty-dumpty
Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall
markets entice, when up they crawl
Humty-Dumpty had a great fall
Bears creep in silently for a prowl
All the king's horses, all the king's men
Government wakes up to economy in strain
could not put Humpty-Dumpty together again
Bail out is too small to relieve the pain
How come the pets of the wall street,
In days, were brought to their feet
Fed came running to save the phony
and I was reminded of Johny-Johny
Johny Johny, Yes papa (the Fed)
For the helping hand, all banks sped
Eating sugar? No Papa (Asked the Mogul)
Greedy they were instead of frugal
Telling Lies? No papa (Said fed with stern looks)
They lied and cooked their books
Open your mouth, Ha Ha Ha (O! its fine)
Said fed, relax, happens all the time
History is repeated, as they say
While sun shone, they made hay
Collapsed under their own weight
Help approached but too late
People lost their savings indeed
But only to their insatiable greed
Common man is facing trying times
Finding solace in these nursery rhymes
How centuries of wisdom is ignored
when, to money man is lured
Heed to Buffet's words in need
Be very scared of other's greed
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Employee cannot win - appraisals
Joined as a fresher
Employee: Sir, I put in day and night to pick up so fast. Everyone thinks I hold a lot of promise. I sometimes solved problems which 2 years exp. people could not do. Don't I deserve better?
Manager: O yeah, you have done exceptionally as a fresher. But you know this time extensive trainings were organized for you, you know thats a cost we bear for you. So this time around, policy restricts us to give you better but keep up the good work and next time, we will definitely consider you.
Cool! He likes me. A year passes
Employee: I have done so much for the company. I have given my days and nights. I did not care for my personal life, I have not gone home for more than 9 months. I even worked on national holidays and this is what I get in return!
Manager: What work could be completed in 9 hrs/day, you have taken more than 13, still you are not able to complete the work. Be thankful that you are getting a raise!
Yeah, he could be right. A year later.
Employee: Now I have improved upon my efficiency. I work for 9 hrs only and still manage to finish all my work. I think this improvement should be rewarded
Manager: If you can finish your work in 9hrs then I think, you are just earning a living. You lack the motivation to go that extra step, you know.
Oops! Another year later
Employee: I have worked really hard and within 9hrs of the day. I contributed to Quality initiatives of the project, conducted the QA meetings. All this was done, while I also worked on the project and met all the deadlines.
Manager: O yes! you have done well, but what you lack is initiative. Look I asked you to organize meetings. I ask you to fill the trackers. With more than 3 years of experience, I think now is the time to take initiatives.
So close!! Another year later
Employee: I have toiled very hard this time as well. I have also worked for quality initiatives of the company. Helped us get the cmmi certifications. This was on my own initiave. I also met all the project requirements. I also did certifications on personal level to keep myself updated. I also took training of the freshers included.
Manager: thats great. We really value you as a team member. We are completely satisfied with your performance, but we cannot give you better appriasal because you know these are competetive times and we have to take care of everyone. Its the time for you to take ownership. Its a family and your are one of the elders, let the younger ones have it this time.
Employee: I knew you would invent something this time too, thats why this time I have a offer from a rival firm. What you say now?
Manager: a...a... oh... you did not let me finish. Young people are so impulsive!! i have an onsite opportunity just for you. We need experienced people there to manage our clients. Would you be interested?
Ah! US... here I come... but for 3 months only :( Another year passes.
Employee: Do you see these mails? Client is really appreciative of my work. He would want me back as soon as possible. I also got us more business. I think I should get a small share of the pie... don't I deserve it?
Manager: o yeah, thats very nice. We really appreciate your contribution and thats why we have decided to give you an early promotion.
Employee: Promotion?? but that would not add to may salary. you have not given me a good raise for 5 years now. You can give me promotion next time, I would prefer a better grade this time.
Manager: But you were sent to onsite. Wasn't it a reward? and then we are giving you promotion and we are also looking to sent you onsite again. What else can the company do for you?
Ok, lets not fight here and mess up the chances of onsite. Ah dollar, here i come again - onsite doesn't happen, another year passes.
Employee: Why? this grade is even less than the last time. I atleast did as good as the last time. how can you think I am even worse than a new comer?
Manager: No, ofcourse not. You are an asset to the company. Its just that we expect a lot more from you now. Your bar has been risen.
Ah... i give up... i will switch now! - recession strikes. No jobs to be found - another year passes
Employee(dejected): What is it this time? Ah the same.... thank god.
Manager: What happened to you?? you were so enthusiastic and energetic. And you seem so lethargic these days. you are not even putting the regular number of hours. We are giving you the same grade to motivate you, but also consider this as a your last chance.
Oops! over the next year, somehow saved the job and did well
Employee: Hope i did better this time!
Manager: o yeah! you really turned around. Thats awesome. You would be happy to know that I have been promoted and released. I need my loyal people and who better than you. I have named you to be the manager. I release you from this project and you will join as manager in my project.
Employee: I think then its pointless to ask about raise.
Manager: Raise!!! I enhanced your role and you are worried about money. Young man, life is not all about money. Its more about power and respect you command. Money comes and goes, what stays is respect, honour, diginity. I give you these.
yeah yeah I know, wish I could trade some diginty for a Honda City - another year flies by.
Fresher: Sir, I put in day and night to pick up so fast. Everyone thinks I hold a lot of promise. I sometimes solved problems which 2 years exp. people could not do. Don't I deserve better?
Employee (now Manager): O yeah, you have done exceptionally as a fresher. But you know this time extensive trainings were organized for you, you know thats a cost we bear for you. So this time around, policy restricts us to give you better but keep up the good work and next time, we will definitely consider you.
Manager: Well done. Now you are learning the ways of life. Here take your awesome raise.
Ah, how shiny is my new Honda city.
Employee: Sir, I put in day and night to pick up so fast. Everyone thinks I hold a lot of promise. I sometimes solved problems which 2 years exp. people could not do. Don't I deserve better?
Manager: O yeah, you have done exceptionally as a fresher. But you know this time extensive trainings were organized for you, you know thats a cost we bear for you. So this time around, policy restricts us to give you better but keep up the good work and next time, we will definitely consider you.
Cool! He likes me. A year passes
Employee: I have done so much for the company. I have given my days and nights. I did not care for my personal life, I have not gone home for more than 9 months. I even worked on national holidays and this is what I get in return!
Manager: What work could be completed in 9 hrs/day, you have taken more than 13, still you are not able to complete the work. Be thankful that you are getting a raise!
Yeah, he could be right. A year later.
Employee: Now I have improved upon my efficiency. I work for 9 hrs only and still manage to finish all my work. I think this improvement should be rewarded
Manager: If you can finish your work in 9hrs then I think, you are just earning a living. You lack the motivation to go that extra step, you know.
Oops! Another year later
Employee: I have worked really hard and within 9hrs of the day. I contributed to Quality initiatives of the project, conducted the QA meetings. All this was done, while I also worked on the project and met all the deadlines.
Manager: O yes! you have done well, but what you lack is initiative. Look I asked you to organize meetings. I ask you to fill the trackers. With more than 3 years of experience, I think now is the time to take initiatives.
So close!! Another year later
Employee: I have toiled very hard this time as well. I have also worked for quality initiatives of the company. Helped us get the cmmi certifications. This was on my own initiave. I also met all the project requirements. I also did certifications on personal level to keep myself updated. I also took training of the freshers included.
Manager: thats great. We really value you as a team member. We are completely satisfied with your performance, but we cannot give you better appriasal because you know these are competetive times and we have to take care of everyone. Its the time for you to take ownership. Its a family and your are one of the elders, let the younger ones have it this time.
Employee: I knew you would invent something this time too, thats why this time I have a offer from a rival firm. What you say now?
Manager: a...a... oh... you did not let me finish. Young people are so impulsive!! i have an onsite opportunity just for you. We need experienced people there to manage our clients. Would you be interested?
Ah! US... here I come... but for 3 months only :( Another year passes.
Employee: Do you see these mails? Client is really appreciative of my work. He would want me back as soon as possible. I also got us more business. I think I should get a small share of the pie... don't I deserve it?
Manager: o yeah, thats very nice. We really appreciate your contribution and thats why we have decided to give you an early promotion.
Employee: Promotion?? but that would not add to may salary. you have not given me a good raise for 5 years now. You can give me promotion next time, I would prefer a better grade this time.
Manager: But you were sent to onsite. Wasn't it a reward? and then we are giving you promotion and we are also looking to sent you onsite again. What else can the company do for you?
Ok, lets not fight here and mess up the chances of onsite. Ah dollar, here i come again - onsite doesn't happen, another year passes.
Employee: Why? this grade is even less than the last time. I atleast did as good as the last time. how can you think I am even worse than a new comer?
Manager: No, ofcourse not. You are an asset to the company. Its just that we expect a lot more from you now. Your bar has been risen.
Ah... i give up... i will switch now! - recession strikes. No jobs to be found - another year passes
Employee(dejected): What is it this time? Ah the same.... thank god.
Manager: What happened to you?? you were so enthusiastic and energetic. And you seem so lethargic these days. you are not even putting the regular number of hours. We are giving you the same grade to motivate you, but also consider this as a your last chance.
Oops! over the next year, somehow saved the job and did well
Employee: Hope i did better this time!
Manager: o yeah! you really turned around. Thats awesome. You would be happy to know that I have been promoted and released. I need my loyal people and who better than you. I have named you to be the manager. I release you from this project and you will join as manager in my project.
Employee: I think then its pointless to ask about raise.
Manager: Raise!!! I enhanced your role and you are worried about money. Young man, life is not all about money. Its more about power and respect you command. Money comes and goes, what stays is respect, honour, diginity. I give you these.
yeah yeah I know, wish I could trade some diginty for a Honda City - another year flies by.
Fresher: Sir, I put in day and night to pick up so fast. Everyone thinks I hold a lot of promise. I sometimes solved problems which 2 years exp. people could not do. Don't I deserve better?
Employee (now Manager): O yeah, you have done exceptionally as a fresher. But you know this time extensive trainings were organized for you, you know thats a cost we bear for you. So this time around, policy restricts us to give you better but keep up the good work and next time, we will definitely consider you.
Manager: Well done. Now you are learning the ways of life. Here take your awesome raise.
Ah, how shiny is my new Honda city.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
